Wednesday Link List

Here are this weeks’ links:

1. 5 things you NEED to start leaving off of your resume by Career Builder

2. Rest time: the foundation of performance by Coaching Postitive Performance

3. Learning how to use Positive Self-Talk by Martina G. McGowan

4. Science Explains Why Slacking Online Really Makes You More Productive by LifeHacker

 

5. Stress is Often Misunderstood by Alex Dolin

Keep up with all things “Fully Alive Life Coaching,” with my daily paper that features over 200 contributors but most importantly my feeds on Twitter, Youtube and Facebook. Here is the link: http://paper.li/f-1381598529

My need for control made me sick

During my trip to Lynchburg, Va, a few weeks back, I met up with some friends. These friends wanted to take me out to dinner. I love food and quickly obliged. The only catch was that they  wanted to drive me. Normally that is not a problem. Well, this trip in the car was quite the journey. We missed a few turns, the car was barreling down the roads and take turns a little too quick. I was sitting in the back seat hoping that I would not get sick. I was wishing that I was in control and driving the car. I almost puked. I am glad that we made it to the destination safely and no one got hurt or sick. But this was a quick lesson on control for me. I wanted to drive the car myself, I thought i could get to the destination safely and I would not get sick.

Let’s face it, we all want to be in control, but how realistic is it to be able to control of everything?

To live our best life, we need to first recognize what we can control. First we can identify what it is that we do have the power to change.  Then we must let go of everything else and focus on that, the ‘everything else’ suddenly starts to fall into place.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how we respond to it… so if you are thinking that what you can control is limited, think again!

Self-care in the Bible

The last several Fridays, I have continued the topic of Self-care. Today, as a Christian life coach, I address self-care from a Biblical angle. Let’s think about what Jesus did in the Bible.

While Jesus did spent a lot of time with his disciples and in teaching. He also had time everyday alone where he spend in prayer (Mk 1:35, 14:23, Lk 5:16, 6:12,13, 9:28,  Mt 14:32, etc). He modeled what it means to have an intimate relationship with Jesus and he modeled the principle in Psalm 46:10 (NIV) which says, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Another concept to realize is that our bodies are important:

1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 (ESV) asks “do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. ” We need to take care of our bodies.

Finally, a key principle from a Biblical perspective is in regards to the Sabbath, a day of rest for the Christian. The Christian is called to keep this day of rest, holy (Ex. 16:23, Is. 58:13, etc).
Is this still true for in the New Testament?

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience. (Hebrews 4:9-11)
Does it have to be Sunday? Not necessarily. John Piper puts it this way (2013):

“Now I think that the principle in the New Testament (Rom. 14 particularly) is that God ordains that one day in seven be restful. I think that’s a creation ordinance for our good, for our health.”
The key is on the importance of rest, God even had a day of rest after Creation, we too need to rest in order to be our best the rest of the week!

References:

Piper, J. (2013). What does it mean practically to keep the Sabbath Holy?
Retrieved from http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/ask-pastor-john/what-does-it-mean-practically-to-keep-the-sabbath-holy

Wednesday Link List

Here are this weeks’ links:



1. 10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries  by Psych Central

2. How cutting sugar and carbs reverses aging by Wellness Achiever

3. High blood sugar levels linked to memory loss by Web MD

4. Study: Frequent Texters Are Stressed Out and Don’t Sleep Well by Relevant Magazine 

5. How Loneliness can affect your diet and your health by Huffington Post

Keep up with all things “Fully Alive Life Coaching,” with my daily paper that features over 200 contributors but most importantly my feeds on Twitter, Youtube and Facebook. Here is the link: http://paper.li/f-1381598529

Why men should see a coach

Men are a different breed from woman. This is not a new insight. God created women to have a 

great sense (and a better touch) with their emotions.
Women have better verbal and language skills, they
 tend to be more sensitive and offer more empathy
than men. Honestly, women simply have more
developed brain in a lot of ways. In general, men and
women compliment each other, each have a different
set of superior skills.

With this vast difference in gifts and skills, men often are turned off by the idea of seeing a “shrink” or counselor. Men often are not excited about the opportunity to share some of their deepest feelings, hurts and pains. This is also not surprising, although as a life coach and counselor,  some of the most gratifying work I done is with men. 
Often though it is coaching that is a comfortable fit for men. It’s less talking about feelings and more tools and strategies. So, in that regard, men will often consider coaching as an option when counseling isn’t really going to be their gig. This can be a life changing and helpful opportunity of gain and growth!

I always tell my guys, I don’t really care about their childhood or their past relationships. I am primarily concerned with their present, and their future. Men want tools. I can help them get solid relationship tools on board. It’s a straight to the point, no messing around process. So men, do not fear coaching. A coach can offer you accountability and a better life! 

Should you bring your work home?

Hit me like a light bulb!

I was in class today and my professor was telling me that he intentionally will leave his laptop in his car or office when he gets home from work. He does this so he intentionally has time to enjoy life away from work and to have time with his wife.

I left class that day thinking about this comment. This really is a  great statement about life-balance and self-care. He admitted that he loves his job and it is not “stressful” to him but his wife, family and colleagues tell him to work less and relax. For my professor, his work is fun. He enjoys it. So just stopping to spend time with his wife away from his work has been a challenge to him.

After class, I was still thinking about what he said, as I ate dinner, I had a topic worthy of more research:
Has having internet access been ruining our marriages? Just because we have access to our work and the internet 24/7 with Wi-Fi and data plans and hot-spots, does not mean that we should be on it all the time, at least not on our work and research. A recent popular internet meme is Maslow’s hierarchy of needs with “Wi-Fi” tacked onto it at the bottom and most essential need. It is hilarious but sadly seems true to many of us.

The principles of self-care and life balance are not new. And the problem of bringing work home is nothing new either. The solution is also the same as before. Time management and priority setting skills are still essential.

What has changed with technology is access to the internet and our work or studies. Just the mere ease and convenience of having this access is an amazing thing. We can be more productive and get more things done more quickly. Along with the advantages come some problems.

Again, we have to have balance and boundaries in our life. To build and create healthy marriages, we have to have time alone with our spouses in communication, intimacy, passion and in honest commitment to each other. If work and.or technology is getting in the way of this, it is time to create boundaries to protect what is most important in our lives, especially our marriages.