Top ten reasons why the emerger didn’t cross the road?

This was a post by~ Michael Patton ~ on his blog before it was hacked. This post is no longer found on his blog but it is still some funny stuff!

The Kruse Kronicle wrote a brilliantly funny post about why the emerging chicken did cross the road, so I thought that I would write why the emerger did not cross the road.

10. Because he did not want to be labeled.

9. Because he was not absolutely certain that he could cross since in order to get to the other side, you would have to go half way, and in order to go half way, you would have to go half way to the half way, and in order to go half way to the half way, you would have to go half way, ad infinitum.

8. Because it was not a labyrinth shaped road.

7. Because only arrogant people cross roads.

6. The liquor store was on his side. ( 🙂 Come on, lighten up!)

5. Because they don’t ordain women or homosexuals to street preaching on the other side.

4. Because everyone crosses the road, it must be wrong.

3. Because to cross the road you have to go West.

2. Because it was a one-way street.

1. Because he did not want to be accused of J-Mac-ing.

Suburban Utopia?

Is suburbia really America’s favorite living community?

Because I hate it! I grew up in West Virginia, “mountain momma, take me home.” My neighbors were very few, and my family had a lot of land to do with as we pleased. We were responsible enough to take care of our land.

Today, now that we live in the “city,” we are surrounded by houses. None of the homes have
sufficient land. Sure we have neighbors, but that is good and bad.

There are researched problem associated with suburbia:
Everyone has a pet!
A lot of noise
A lot of traffic
A lot of kids running around busy streets
Lack of diversity
Easier access to drugs and substances
amount of electricity used to power homes
Nothing ECO-friendly or Green
Increase in violence
Increase in obesity

Articles: (advantages not very convincing)

Funny video:

Darwinism is so crazy, false

Some reasons Darwinism cannot work!!!

1. It is mathematically impossible for amino-acids to form strings in the right sequence by chance and make proteins, and for these to give rise to a cell. See Miller’s experiment which failed.

2. Human embryos do not have gills, Ernst Haeckel lied to you.

3. There isn’t a “tree of life.”

4. The Myth of Vestigial Organs

5. Myth of Mutations

6. The Imaginary Family Tree of Man does not fit for actual men.

There are just a few of the fabrications you can draw from Darwinism. Visit the sources below for more interesting facts!


Other interesting articles:

I leave you with this awesome/ funny clip from Expelled, Michael Ruse and his crazy crystal theory:

Top Twenty Theological Pick-up Lines NOT to use

An interesting, note-worthy post from Michael Patton and His Parchment and Pen Blog at
Reclaiming the Mind Ministries.

Usually I find this blog to be very incitefull theologically and a great resource. Recently Michael posted an odd post. It is interesting, and some of the “pick-up lines” are just REALLY terrible and NOT worth your time, but here are a few that did make me chuckle:

18. “Paul said that it was better to marry than to burn. Therefore, I am under God’s mandate to marry you.”

17. “Here, let me take care of those tithes.”

14. “Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.”

6.“God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”