Top ten reasons why the emerger didn’t cross the road?

This was a post by~ Michael Patton ~ on his blog before it was hacked. This post is no longer found on his blog but it is still some funny stuff!

The Kruse Kronicle wrote a brilliantly funny post about why the emerging chicken did cross the road, so I thought that I would write why the emerger did not cross the road.

10. Because he did not want to be labeled.

9. Because he was not absolutely certain that he could cross since in order to get to the other side, you would have to go half way, and in order to go half way, you would have to go half way to the half way, and in order to go half way to the half way, you would have to go half way, ad infinitum.

8. Because it was not a labyrinth shaped road.

7. Because only arrogant people cross roads.

6. The liquor store was on his side. ( 🙂 Come on, lighten up!)

5. Because they don’t ordain women or homosexuals to street preaching on the other side.

4. Because everyone crosses the road, it must be wrong.

3. Because to cross the road you have to go West.

2. Because it was a one-way street.

1. Because he did not want to be accused of J-Mac-ing.

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Top Twenty Theological Pick-up Lines NOT to use


An interesting, note-worthy post from Michael Patton and His Parchment and Pen Blog at
Reclaiming the Mind Ministries.

Usually I find this blog to be very incitefull theologically and a great resource. Recently Michael posted an odd post. It is interesting, and some of the “pick-up lines” are just REALLY terrible and NOT worth your time, but here are a few that did make me chuckle:

18. “Paul said that it was better to marry than to burn. Therefore, I am under God’s mandate to marry you.”

17. “Here, let me take care of those tithes.”

14. “Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.”

6.“God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”