Wednesday Links List

Here are this weeks’ links:

1. Leadership starts with Self- Care Starts by: Loren Gary

2. Study Points to Possible Treatment for Brain Disorders by Science Daily

5. The Importance of Self-Care by Alex Dolin

Keep up with all things “Fully Alive Life Coaching,” with my daily paper that features over 200 contributors but most importantly my feeds on Twitter, Youtube and Facebook. Here is the link: http://paper.li/f-1381598529

Overcoming Roadblocks to Self-Care



There are several common roadblocks to self care:
-For some people time is their biggest road block.
-For others self-esteem or value is hindering.
-Guilt is a very common roadblock. For using time on self.
-Lack of Assertiveness or not knowing when to say ‘no’ is another common roadblock. 
 –Perfectionism can have a reverse effect in self-care, the lies is that if we cannot do it perfectly, there  is no sense in trying.
-A major myth is that self-care is in definition. What is self-care? Why care? Self-care is holistic. Some people get caught up thinking it is one thing or another and end up neglecting something obvious.
              -The Questions of what to do first? Who to listen to? What is the best thing to do? How do I do it?
              –Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of commitment. Fear of taking the first step….

All of these and others are things to look-out when beginning or continuing on in the path of self-care. One of the most difficult things for a busy individual is motivating them to spend time that is not “productive.” God created us to be productive and being productive is a good thing. Remember though, that God also created us to be healthy and live a balanced life. It can be tough for some people to find a hobby or a distraction because they want to live so obsessed with making money or making a lasting impression, that having a hobby seems out of the picture. But the truth is having a hobby can be productive and altruistic. It can make you a better person and a better worker. There are countless amounts of organizations  and volunteer opportunities that are worthy!

There are three parts of happiness:
1. Being good (Your own self-care in health, happiness, character, personal growth, etc) 
2. Doing good  (Full effort, productivity, high quality and hard work, etc)
3. Creatinggood (This is our volunteering/giving back/paying forward, etc)
To be fully healthy and happy you need all three aspects. So finding a hobby is so essential for creating good as well as in living a balanced life.
Suggestions for Creating Good:
1. It could be service-driven activity that builds into the community, Volunteering at a church ministry, a kitchen soup, food pantry, homeless shelters,  health clinic, service project groups: like Lions Club, Eagle Club, Kiwanis Club, Habitat for Humanity, Big Brother/Big Sister….the list goes on and on
2. It could be something that you enjoy doing, a passion or art. And contributing it to the community….book club, writing a book, playing in a band, leading worship at church, writing music, creating a coffee house event or do poetry readings, or other art/dance.

3. It could look different for everyone. It may not be your typical art or service project. It could be volunteering  at a gym or working at YMCA and offering yoga, martial arts, gun safety classes, presenting  research data, this could look like something very practical and tangible in information or in actual practice. 

Time Management and Priorities : Finding Time for Self-Care

 We are all only given 24 hours in a day, everyday. That is an equal for all of us, no matter what the situation is, no matter how successful or unsuccessful, rich or not as fortunate.
  It can be challenging to find time to take care of yourself, especially when you have enough things to do already! Your 24 hours quickly disappears! Many people are great care takers of children or of their elder parents, there is not enough time in the day to serve everyone that needs to be served or earn enough money that needs to be earned. So the main skills that are correlated with self-care are priority-setting and also time-management.
This box demonstrates a simple way blending these two elements: time management and priority-setting. The four boxes center around two thoughts: Urgency and Importance.
            1. Urgent, Important
            2. Important, Not Urgent
            3. Urgent, Not Important
            4. Not Urgent, Not Important
With these two ideas in mind, I can replay every action, that I did in my mind and categorize which box that action goes in.
For example, activities that go in the first box are: Putting out stressful “fires,”crises or deadlines. Work deadlines, family emergencies, project/homework is due, major complaint from large company,  
             The second box is my “Creative pro-activity.” Here is quality time/production, Preparation, prevention, planning, career development, long-term strategy, relationship building, personal fulfillment, quality family time and taking care of myself by going to gym or reading a self-development book. The third box may be my least favorite box. These activities are red herrings (plausible but not important or relevant) , Interruptions like phone calls, some office meetings, some mail, chose of colors on a wall, etc.  The fourth box is time wasting: TV, Internet, Video games, fun, relaxing, does not add much of any other value, distractions, trivial activities and “escapes” from reality. We need to spend some therapeutic laughter and pleasure time in life, but we need to limit this category or we will become its slave. 
 Here are a few more of these charts to help bring home the point:

Self-Care is for Everyone

Self care refers to actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and personal health and promote human development.

Self-care is taking care of your own self, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually so that you are fully alive and able to truly fulfill all of your purposes and callings. 
I believe that self-care is for everyone.

Let me briefly run-through some examples and maybe you will be able to relate. Often times individuals get really busy in life through a number of scenarios  Unfortunately, we all only have 24 hours in a day.

  • Business owners and C.E.O.s work hard and work long hours to maximize their reputation  business and profits. 
  • Single parents work three jobs to provide for the family.
  • 40 and 50 year old parents who have their own children also take care of their older parents, sandwiched in two roles of care.
  •  School teachers with children of their own, once they wake up they turn on the teacher mode and even when they get home they have to be in mom/teacher mode.
  • Pastors who give and give and give might be neglecting their own care or their family’s care.
  • Doctors and nurses working in 12 or more hour shifts. 
  •   Let’s not forget our Heroes (Military men and women, E.M.T. workers, firemen and police men/women) who see trauma first-hand.
These are all examples of challenging scenarios, where self-care needs to be evaluated. But honestly self-care is for everyone. We all need to take time out of our busy schedules to take care of our own needs and care. We will not be as effective or healthy if we neglect our own care and health. We all have times in life when caring for our self is not our main priority, we have a balancing act between jobs, kids, spouses, institutions and those in our social network that need our attention and time. But what is one thing you are going to do to this week that is for you and your own well-being?